


A kiss in the dark

by Veelitann



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Brats - Freeform, Feelings, First Kiss, Fluff, Garrison - Freeform, Gay, JATT - Freeform, Jeith - Freeform, Kissing, Love Story, M/M, Pre-Kerberos Mission, Romance, Sad, Sad love, cadet - Freeform, kiss, soft, stupid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-19
Updated: 2018-08-19
Packaged: 2019-06-29 20:58:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15737220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Veelitann/pseuds/Veelitann
Summary: During their young years at the Garrison, Keith and James share a room in the dorms. They're nothing to each other, fighting most of the time. Being stupid brats.But that night is different. Experiencing something new for both them, and speaking out their feelings.





	A kiss in the dark

**Author's Note:**

> Oh woopsie, a new thing! I'm a little too much into James I admit, I love this brat so much! TwT

"You deserved it. The punishment. Jerk." 

James Griffin's voice echoed in the room and Keith sighed. Things could have been better. Things could have been much worse though, and his eyes had some difficulties remaining focused on the book. James' voice was too distracting. 

James' eye had bruised more than Keith first thought after his fist had met his face during class. On his cheek too, at the corner of his lips, the skin had turned blueish since the fight in the morning. 

"You deserved it too," Keith muttered. 

"What?"

"My punishment in your face. Jerk." 

The following silence was something Keith could almost taste. The room wasn't huge, and the two beds were facing one another. Making Keith rommate at the Garrison's dormitory hadn't been the best idea Shirogane Takashi had. Especially when it was with James Griffin. Laying on his bed, James had turned on his side to face Keith's side of the room, staring at the boy who was _trying_ to study. 

"Seriously," he murmured, "why do you even try?" 

Keith raised his eyes from his book again, frowning with annoyance. "Can't you shut up sometimes?" 

"I don't understand you. It gets on my nerves." With that, James shrugged in his own sheets. 

Keith sighed a little. "I don't owe you any explanation," he said. 

A heavy silence again. James was staring at him once more, almost without blinking, and it was hard to focus on his homeworks. The day had been pretty long and tiring. The last thing Keith wanted was to deal with James and his petty attitude right now, but the other boy didn't stop asking, again and again, with probably the hope to have at least one answer to his questions. 

Why? 

Why was James like that? 

Why was he stuck here with him? 

Why was he, Keith, stuck in that Garrison, learning how to pilot something he didn't even care about? Why was he doing all of this, just in order to...

To what? 

Shiro had asked him to come. 

He'd obeyed. 

Shiro had asked him to study. 

He'd obeyed. 

Shiro had asked him to become a pilot. 

He would be. 

Shiro had made everything easy for him to be a Garrison cadet like the others, regardless to what and who he was in the first place -no one, a useless shitty brat craving for some attention. 

But it's been a few months now, and Keith had know since day one that living in the same room than someone else would be problematic at some point. Especially with another boy, especially with a petty one, especially with James Griffin who knew him since middle school. 

James Griffin hated him since the first time they met, years ago. They had take care not to interact with each other during school as long as it was possible, but now they couldn't avoid being in contact. 

With a sigh, James sat on his bed and unzipped his jacket, earning a dark glare. 

"In the bathroom if you want to undress," Keith hissed. 

"What? No. Just getting at ease." 

With an eyes roll, James let the jacket drop on the floor and literally fell back on the bed, his belly facing the sheets. Arms crawling under the pillow, he hummed a low sond for a few minutes. 

Keith didn't mind the sound. 

It was, actually, something soft, like an old child song. It wasn't annying like he was afraid first -he didn't really want to punch James again in the face but he still could if he needed. 

Keith didn't mind the eyes on him. 

He was used to it, from the boy. 

It was, somehow, a routine of theirs. James was fast to do his homeworks, so he usually spent his time on his bed, reading or playing some video games -it was _forbidden_ to bring such stuff at the Garrison but Keith wasn't one to talk and James _knew it_. 

Keith was the slow one to work. He was intelligent, but figuring out how to take the exercises took him slightly more time than James. 

Having the other boy wandering aroung in the place also made it harder. 

With a curious gaze at an unexpected move, keith raised his eyes t the body on the other bed, again, and blinked as the trousers were on the floor. 

"What did I just say?" he groaned. "Bathroom, James." 

"I'm not changing, nor naked, man, need glasses?" 

"Not far from naked."

"You wished." 

James had that cocky grin that suited him too well. His brown bangs fell on his face, hiding his forehead and eyes. Today was the _dark under clothes day_ , Keith noticed. Dark tank top under the orange jacket. Dark pair of boxers covering his ass. Still facing the matress, James sighed and his feet played up in the air, showing bare skin on display. He was still wearing his socks. 

"Dumb," Keith sighed again. 

There was a small laughters on James side. It was hard to concentrate. Even if he wasn't watching, Keith could sightsee the moves, the color of the skin, the dark shade of the few lays of fabrics. A contrast with the white bed. 

Keith swallowed. His tongue felt heavy in his dry mouth. He should aim for some fresh water soon. In the principal office today, he'd talked more than he was used too to explain his gesture toward James. Talking with Shiro had taken a large amount of time and the day was gone already. In the end, it was Adam's appearance after his last class that had stopped them in the middle of a discussion. Keith hadn't missed the sudden interest of Shiro switching from Keith to the man. It wasn't a new thing at all, but it had caught Keith's interest as well. 

His pen stopped on the paper and he frowned. Shiro wasn't one to show off his personal life, but this, him litarelly living with Adam, was something they all acknowledge already. They just didn't make it a show. 

Did they kiss sometimes? _Yes_ , Keith had already seen them, looking for Shiro at first, and finding him having a small break with Adam in the teachers' room. Sloppy kisses, soft laughters echoeing in the huge room, and curious gazes turning to _him_ as Keith had opened discretly the door. Not discretly enough, actually. 

He'd seen them hug. 

Smile. 

Gaze at each other accross rooms or corridors. 

Everytime, Keith wondered what could push them to act like this. What made you want to do those things, look that dorky with someone else? 

How would you want to have so much _physical_ contact with someone else? He knew about feelings, for sure, but even at 16 he had never experimented anything like this. Nothing that made him look giddy, or stupidly smiling, or...Or anything. 

He'd never kissed anyone -and somehow he doubted about falling in such a situation someday. 

Would he smiled like some dumb guy, like Shiro and Adam, one day? 

"What did I do this time?" James suddenly sighed. 

Keith blinked with surprise, taken far away from his own thoughts. "Uh?" 

"You're fucking pouting. Did I say something _again_?" 

He shook his head with a sigh and finally closed his book. It wasn't worth the effort for now, he _couldn't_ concentrate on his work for tonight. 

"I...Was thinking. Nothing to see with you," he mumbled. 

"Sounds like you were faaaaar into it. What's it about?" James had propped himself on an elbow, resting his chin in his palm. His legs weren't moving anymore, his feet crossed in the air now. 

"Nothing interesting," Keith rolled his eyes. 

"Makes me even more curious."

"Dumb."

"I'm bored, tell me." 

Putting his book aside, Keith sighed. Why not? He wasn't used to talk about that type of topics, but he sure wasn't the only one to be a newbie on it. 

"What do you think about...How to say, relationships?" 

There was a blank. James' legs fell on the mattress with a soft 'thump' and the corners of his mouth dropped. 

"Relationships?" he repeated. 

"Yeah. I mean, kissing? Hugging? That type of stuff." 

James snorted. "Man, I didn't think you were into it." 

"I'm gonna beat your ass again," Keith grunted, but the way James suddenly stopped smiling at his question had quite caught his attention. 

"Nah, but I mean...You're not the type of guy to look at others..." 

Keith shrugged a little at that. It was quite true. He had better to do than looking at people's ass or face, unlike some other people -who was that guy's name already? Taylor? He was always with a different girl in his arms every fucking month. 

"I'm curious, just," he said. 

"You're too weird," James huffed but Keith couldn't see his petty smile back on his face. 

"Maybe? I dont know. You're weird as well, by the way." 

"I'm not." 

"Hey, James?" Keith called after a short silence. Somehow, the boy's behaviour had brought him to an thought. 

James burried his face in his pillow with a lazy "Whaaaat?" 

"Have you ever kissed someone?" 

The next second, dark eyes were on him, James pursing his lips with a frown. "What. The. Hell." 

That was it, Keith thought. James couldn't answer him because he just hadn't any idea about any of this. 

"Never?" 

"Keith, shut up." 

"Like, really never?" 

"I'm gonna punch you in the face." 

"Don't copy me. Hey," Keith continued and James hid his face in his pillow again, muffling his grunting. "How do you learn to kiss?" 

James ears suddenly became red and Keith blinked. Was he suffocating in his pillow? 

"Hey man?" 

James hit the matress with his feet, and finally turned his face to Keith. He was bright red on the cheeks, an embarassed looks on his features. 

"You learn by _practice_ ," he hissed. 

"Uh, but to practice you need to-"

"-to do it with someone," James muttered between his teeth. 

Ah. 

Uh. 

Oh. 

_Makes sens,_ Keith thought and he felt his ears burn a bit. For a few seconds he tried to picture himself actually _kissing_ someone, but he had no particuliar face in mind, no idea of the feeling of a kiss, and how to. 

"Shit."

James sighed deeply. "How comes you're thinking about it? Saw a cute girl?" 

Keith shrugged again. "Shiro and Adam do it when they think they're alone. I wondered what it was like." 

James eyes were round. 

"You know, all that stuff. Aren't you curious about it?" Keith continued asking. James being embarrassed by his questions was none of his business. 

It took a moment. James shifted in his bed for a fe seconds, making muffled sounds in his pillow again until he needed to breath, then he rolled on his side to face Keith. 

"Of course I'm curious," he breathed. "Who isn't?" 

"I see," Keith tilted his head on the side, thinking about how much Shiro and Adam were closed. If they were discreet in public, which was natural for anyone having a relationship no matter who, who knew what they did in private? Was he even allowed to think about it? He wasn't stupid, of course. He _knew_ what happened in a couple. Just...It was a mystery as for how and everything it involved, such as the feeling of it. Masturbating under the shower, late in the evening or early in the morning in the garrison common bathroom such wasn't the same, he was certain. 

The silence was back. Heavy. Keith played for a while with the pen still between in his fingers. It was hard not to think about it. Kissing? How was it, really? It hadn't occured to him that he could wish for some kiss one day or another. Would it happen to him one day? Would he want to be close to someone that much, so he woud want, even need, to kiss them? He didn't know. Until now, everything only felt boring, tasteless. 

He finally fave up on his books, kicking them out o the bed with his feet. They made a loud sound when hitting the floor. They would probably be torn when he'd take them in the morning but really, who cared? 

He throwed his jacked on the floor, like James earlier with a sigh and fell back on his own bed, arms sread by his sides. The ceiling above them wasn't interesting. 

"Wanna try?"

James' voice was something that always suddenly echoed in his ears, no matter what or when, and Keith never knew if he appreciated it. 

But, at that moment, his heart skipped a beat. 

"What?" he asked nonetheless, turning his head to the other bed. 

James hadn't moved, still laying on his side. He had only recover from his intense blushing. 

"Kissing." 

Keith snorted. "You don't know how to." 

"You too," James replicated. 

A sigh, again. Keith turned on his side like James, staring at the other boy for a moment. 

Kissing James? 

What an idea. 

How could it feel? Lips against lips? Would he feel his teeth? Would it be dry? Wet? Weird? Natural? Keith didn't like James, and James didn't like Keith, so it was the weirdest situation he'd even been until now -aside from Shiro asking him to become a pilot after Keith stole his car, but well. 

Staring at James was becoming a little embarrassing since the teen was only earing his boxers and tank top. 

"We aren't going anywhere like this," James mumbled after a moment of sharing silent gazes with Keith. 

"Yeah. Don't wanna watch you the entire night," Keith spit out of habit and James rolled his eyes. They both were too used to their usual behaviour to each other to do better. 

But they didn't move for a while. In the next hour, Keith's had removed his trousers as well. The hot and heavy air of the room was making him feel uncomfortable in his clothes. Summer was difficult in the dormitories due to the lack of air-conditionning. 

Through the window, the night had slowly fallen, and the room was darker than before. Keith couldn't see James' face very well now. He could picture the line of his jaw, the heavy hair on his face. The global shape of his body. 

They had been silent, both them, for hours, probably thinking about that weird conversation on their own. 

A sigh resonated. 

"Do you like someone?" James suddenly asked. His voice ghosted for a moment in the room as Keith remained silent. 

"Do you?" The boy asked back and he could feel James' grimace. 

"Fucker." Another silence. A whisper. "I do." 

Keith didn't answer at that. 

_Makes sens_ , he thought again. James was one to aim for something. For _someone_ actually. He was blunt as hell, but eager to be the very best. It wasn't for nothing. It wasn't for no one, and somehow Keith understood that state of mind. He was doing his very best for Shiro's who believed in him. The man was the first one to give him his trust without asking for anything in return, or actually nothing else than "go to school and become a pilot", just because he'd seen something in Keith's potential. 

So, somehow he could understand James. But not that much. 

It wasn't the same motivation. 

"She's cute?" Keith tried. 

He didn't mind about the answer actually. He didn't mind about girls and if they were cute or not. 

"He's cute," was James' answer after a long silence and Keith took a moment to proceed his answer. 

James liked a guy. 

"From the Garrison?" he tried. 

"Mhh mmmhh," and he could picture James nodding in his bed. 

James liked a guy from the Garrison. 

"Wait...He's in our class?" 

But James chuckled darkly at the question and Keith froze a little at the sound. It wasn't like James. 

"No."

"Where, then?" 

A sigh. 

"Engineering department." 

"Mmmhh."

Keith couldn't think about a face he knew from that department -he didn't know any one from that department actually exception of the "father and son duet Holt" but everyone had heard of them at least once. 

"Does he like you?" Keith asked. 

The conversation was both weird and casual and keith wondered for a second _how_ they ended talking about it. James huffed, in a desperate sound. 

"No." 

Something hit Keith in James' way of talking. 

"Does he even _know_ you?" he suddenly asked. 

A silence. Keith wasn't one to push when it came to personal topic, and now it was. He listened to James moving on his sheets, sighing. He knew the answer already. 

"No," came after a moment in a breath. 

Somehow, Keith felt a hint of pity for the young man. In the dark, he sat on his bed. the sound of sheets filled in the air and he could feel the silence break with only that. 

He stood up, bare foot on the cold floor, and walked straight to the other bed. Without a word, he crawled on it, soon feeling the hot body under his hands. 

"You're serious?" James chuckled, but Keith could hear how his tone didn't laugh. At all. 

"I guess nothing can happen if we're two meters appart from each other," Keith casually said. 

"One point for you." 

James' voice was a low breath. The light of the moon barely reached the inside of the room to enlightened them. It was barely enough for Keith to acknowledge the edge of the bed and not fall. 

He moved a little further on the bed. James' legs slide under him as he was on the boy on his fours. 

They didn't talk for a moment. Keith wasn't sure of what he was doing, after all, and he was almost sure that James was as lost as him. 

He swallowed thick. His tongue was heavy again in his mouth. It was like he could feel the weight of the body under his. 

He felt the skin of James' legs against his. The hem of his boxers as his knees reached James' low waist. He sat on his thighs, slightly afraid to go higher -he knew for sure what it could do for James and it wasn't the idea. 

His hand set on James' chest, he waited for a moment, feeling the heart beat under his fingers, the heat emanating from the other body. His own blood pounded to his ears. His throat and mouth were dry. Why was he even doing it? He could have stayed in his bed, then wake up in the morning and go to his classes as usual and forget about that conversation. Forget about his own questionning. 

But it was making him nervous, all of a sudden. It was dark, thanks god, and it made things easier. He knew he was straddling James. But he didn't see it by himself, and it was better not to totally acknowledge that fact. 

Keith jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder, fingers fumbling to reach his neck and press to make him lean down. 

First, Keith felt the tip of James' nose under his lips and the feeling was so weird and unexpected that they both jumped in surprise. The next second, they were giggling awkwardly at each other. 

"What are we doing..." Keith breathed. The hand on his neck was hot. 

"Dunno. Isn't it funny?" 

James' voice was so low. There was something sad in his tone. Keith's stomach twitched at it. James didn't feel ok. And it was probably not something new. It was a feeling that Keith couldn't understand. An attraction for someone, something so deep that you wished you could touch, kiss, hug this very one person. 

Would he know such a thing some day? 

There was a soft sigh underneath. Fingers played absentmindly with the hair in his neck. 

Keith leaned again, carefully. 

This time, he reached the corner of trembling lips. _Trembling_. 

He wanted to shout at James how unfunny it was to feel him be so unlike him. How weird. How it was better to have him being cocky and petty, with that arrogant smile of his. 

Fingers slide a little more behind his neck. 

Keith's lips slipped on the side to find James'. 

It wasn't weird. 

It wasn't wet. 

It wasn't dry. 

James smelled a little like toothpast and skincare. 

It was soft. Lips were soft. Keith stopped the contact, a little lost on what to do. Was it really kissing? It wasn't like he was really feeling something amazing with it. It was soft, not unpleasant but-

James' hand suddenly pulled him in again, mouth crashing against his and Keith lost his balance under the surprise, falling flat on James. There was a small grunt at that, but somehow James didn't say anything. Neither did Keith. It was different this time, James _kissing_ Keith's lips like his life depended on it. Could he devour his mouth with kisses? Keith could believe it. And somehow it didn't feel disgusting. It took Keith a fe kisses though to return the gesture. Kissing lips felt different than just touching then with his own mouth. 

It felt more intimate. James' breath was hot on his face when they parted slightly. Keith breathed short. 

But suddenly the world, so dark around them, lose its balance. Up and down. And Keith found himself on his back, James straddling his tummy. There was still that silence around them, that hand behind his neck, fingers tightening and trembling. 

This time, lips meeting his seemed a little less messy, and Keith couldn't help a small laughters. James hold back at it. 

"What's funny?"

"You," Keith breathed. "Kissing from practice, uh? You _did_ practice before, liar." 

"I didn't," and James' tone wasn't lying. 

"Oh. So you thought about another way to do?" 

He was curious. James' last kiss was different and there was no real reason if it was his first time. 

"I...Shit, don't you dare laugh, okay?" James murmured, and Keith could hear how embarrassed he was. 

"I won't." 

The hand in his neck disappeared and somehow Keith felt disappointed. 

"I...Saw _him_ kissing someone...Last week..." 

_Oh._

"I see." 

"Don't laugh, ok? I mean, it's..." 

"It's ok," Keith murmured. "I get it. It's ok." 

A silence. James' hand had slipped to Keith's collarbones popping out of the tank top cleavage, drawing them out with a finger. 

"Mh mmhh." James hummed softly -he didn't know what else to say. 

"How woud you kiss him?" Keith asked. 

He could feel James shiver on his tummy. The boy didn't actually talk. It was an open invitation to do it, and they both knew it. 

On his cheek, Keith felt hesitant fingers. Then, James' mouth on his, again. It was something soft, slow. Parting lips to taste his skin, and Keith tried to copy the move. Teeth didn't clash like he had thought. 

It was different from their first attempt. Softer. Still hesitant. But there was something that Keith wasn't able to put in it, something that James alone knew how to show and it was ike a burn in his body. 

Something he felt he wouldn't know and suddenly wished he could. Something that could lead James on the verge of tears, fists trembling and clenched on the collar of his tank top while they were kissing. 

When hot tears reached his cheek, Keith suddenly broke the kiss and sat, circling the body on his with both arms to hold him. With a strong hand, he forced James' head in the crook of his shoulder, stroking the brown and smooth strands of hair. 

Keith wasn't good at comforting people. He barely knew the gestures and behaviour to have in those moments, but it seemed to be the best to do for now. He remained silent, fingers barely moving in the hair. 

James hiccuped a little. he sniffed a little. Keith tended to not bother about his own shoulder and, probably, tears and snort on the strap of his tank top. 

He tightened his grip around James. His chest was shaking softly in his arms, and a sob echoed in the room. 

"I love him, Keith," James whined. 

It could have sounded so pitiful, but Keith couldn't think that way. 

It was _different_ from usual. 

"I know," he murmured. 

No playing around. 

Truth. 

Trust. 

Keith wished he could, one day, feel the same as James toward a significant other. 

No matter how terrible it would make him feel.

**Author's Note:**

> I needed to write something soft and ended with a sad thing, couldn't help, eh!   
> Hope you liked it <3 
> 
> For those who read "For your Beating heart", you can consider this one shot a prequel to that other work! If you didn't, don't worry, you don't have to it read it after! XD


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